Farm Humor for Twisted People

Good old farm humor, gotta love it!

Keeping it real down on the farm……….

Out Buildings Are Out Dated

Almost each day I find something that makes me realize just how badly this place needs work.  My father was getting on in age and was barely doing the minimum around the place and it is starting to show, big time, so I have my work cut out for me these next couple of years.

The one out building that is used for the storing of and the using of various tools and the like, is in such sad shape that I find myself doing without or doing something else in an effort not to have to go in the darn place. Besides smelling bad, the dampness has attracted numerous bugs and god only knows what else has found it’s way in there. What I really need to do is empty the whole thing out, put in a nice tool box and a new workbench and start filling it up again with only the essentials and in an orderly fashion. I’ve seen some nice workbenches at Formaspace.com, which would do nicely in there

I don’t think that this is going to happen any time soon, but something to put on the back burner until after harvesting is all over and done with and before old man winter strikes us.

An Extra Buck or Two

I have been hearing so much about this very interesting concept of online advertising that a few of my friends are getting into on the Internet. I’ve been told that you can sign up and register your personal blog and advertisers will pay you to write about their products and services for the ever growing world of Internet shopping.I have been told that a good informational website about this blogging concept is run by socialspark.com and today I have been taking a look see in an effort to understand and possibly get intothis new buzz. I seem to be always looking for new and creative ways to make an extra buck in order to save the farm, the house and all that goes along with it

This website is social media where bloggers can connect with advertisers in order to help these business attract more visitors to their site and hopes of making a sale with today’s online shoppers. .

The Heat & Humidity is Coming Soon

We have been blessed with a lot of rain and cool temperatures so far this spring. The rain has been a good thing for all the things that have been planted and now we don’t have to worry about dealing with drought conditions this summer, which is very good news indeed. But the hot and humid weather is right around the corner and I need to locate and purchase a new ac compressor for the farm use only truck that gets so much use around the place each and every day. Since we haven’t had to rely on air conditioning yet, it hasn’t been too awfully bad, so the time is right to get on the ball and get this taken care of as soon as possible.

Like I Didn’t Know This All Ready

My sister sent me these witty words.

Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

Your orgasms are real. Always.

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Foreplay is optional.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don’t give a rat’s ass if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too icky.

Same work… more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. ‘Nuff said…

If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.

People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.

Princess Di’s death was just another obituary.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or irreparably mangle your feet.

Porn movies are designed with you in mind.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So, notice anything different?”